Kawały, dowcipy i śmiech

Millennia Year Application Software System  This memo is to announce the development of a new firm-wide software  system. We are currently building a data center that will contain all  firm data that is Year 2000 compliant. The program is referred to as  the "Millennia Year Application Software System" (MYASS).    Next Monday at 9:00 there will be a meeting in which I will show MYASS  to everyone. We will continue to hold demonstrations throughout the  month so that all employees will have an opportunity to get a good  look at MYASS.  As for the status of the implementation of the  program, I have not addressed the networking aspects so currently only  one person at a time can use MYASS. This restriction will be removed  after MYASS expands.    Several people are using the program already and have come to depend  on it. Just this morning I walked into a subordinate's office and was  not surprised to find that he had his nose buried in MYASS. I've  noticed that some of the less technical personnel are somewhat afraid  of MYASS. Just last week, when asked to enter some information into  the program, I had a secretary say to me "I'm a little nervous, I've  never put anything in MYASS before." I volunteered to help her through  her first time and when we were through she admitted that it was  relatively painless and she was actually looking forward to doing it  again. She went so far as to say that after using SAP and Oracle, she  was ready to kiss MYASS.    I know there are concerns over the virus that was found in MYASS upon  initial installation, but I am pleased to say the virus has been  eliminated and we were able to save MYASS.  In the future, however,  protection will be required prior to entering MYASS. We planned this  database to encompass all information associated with the business. So  as you begin using the program, feel free to put anything you want  into MYASS.  As MYASS grows larger, we envision a time when it will be  commonplace to walk by an office and see a manager hand a paper to an  employee and say "Here, stick this in MYASS".  This program has  already demonstrated great benefit to the company during recent OSHA  and EPA audits. After requesting certain historical data the agency  representatives were amazed at how quickly we provided the  information. When asked how the numbers could be retrieved so rapidly  our Environmental Manager proudly stated "Simple, I just pulled them  out of MYASS."